The Ultimate Urban Legend

Got this excerpt from my friend, George's blog (scroll down on the left column of his webpage and click on "airhole's blog" to read the full version). He wrote something that is funny and strikes a nerve. The ultimate urban legend: sexual equality.

Guideline #1: Initially, treat all girls as ladies.
Guideline #2: Warn them when they are stepping into the boundary of being a bitch (most of them do not care and step into it anyway)
Guideline #3: When they become The Bitch. Treat them like one of them guys.
Guideline #4: If they complain about me not being a gentleman, refer them to my blog (which also equates to some hate mail and more hits on my blog!)

Here is an example:

I went to visit a friend of mine who was sort of down in the dumps. She had friends over and we watched a movie on her DVD player. They ask me to pass the chips over, I pass it over. They ask me to pass the remote, I do that too. Then one of her girlfriends asked me to get a glass of water for her. At first, I ignore her. But she bugs me and I say,

"The kitchen is nearer to you. You can get it too!"
"Don't irritate me, I am watching the movie. Go help me get a glass."
"But so am I, I am watching the movie too."
"Don't make me mean."
"Well, go ahead and be mean, what can you do anyway?"

Then she said,
"I can hit you real hard."
"Right."
"Don't dare me."
"You go ahead and do it. But don't expect me NOT to retaliate and hit you back REAL HARD."

Then she said the double standard line,
"You won't do that to a girl, that is so ungentlemanly."

To which I replied.
"You hitting me would be unlady-like... so that forfeits your right to be a lady. You would have then officially turned to a
bitch. And I hit bitches."

She went and got her own glass of water.


It is funny how to think that a lotta my female friends expound the fact: They are independent in many aspects of their lives.

Sometimes, I think men are just frankly suckers for women's emotional blackmailing. A whine ("... but I'm tired") and off the guys go on a crusade to help these women to get a glass of water, etc. Perhaps, it's the superhero syndrome inherent in most men, wanting to save the damsel in distress. Perhaps, most men treat it as some form of means to an end, be it harbouring some fantasies of ravaging the girl as if it were a Japanese AV flick or cuddling together in a Meg-Ryanesque romantic comedy moment.

I gave up on this argument way long ago. There's no such things as equality. It's such a pack of lies twisted from its original and well-intented meaning by the feminists who envisioned a better place for women who in general truly suffered in the past. This I can't deny.

I could be snide and say that unless women can stand up and pee at the urinals with us men, then we are equal. Oh yeah, that was snide.

In recent weeks, George (Not you lah, membersss...) Dubya Bush aka Chief-Moron of the U.S.A. just signed a bill prohibiting late term abortion in the States. To be honest, I don't know how far-reaching this bill would be in the U.S. I'd fully support the feminists and protests against this. We can digress and slip into an debate on whether pro-life of pro-choice is better. However, the body is the lady's. In the event, she knows she might not be able to provide for the child or the child might be unwanted. Yes, every child is precious. But to use religion in this context, it's just fascist. The choice lies with the mother and she has to live with it and the consequences for the rest of her life. It's not our position to judge or make the choice for her.

That was a slight degression... ahem. In all cases, a friend of mine who has a taste for white meat aka white women (yes, we all know who he is) has told me why he prefers Caucasian women to local women. Mainly, he feels that Caucasian women tend to be more independent and value the concept of equality more than local women. That is, they split the dinner check right down to the centre. Hehehe, yes, he's a cheapskate. Furthermore, he has said that local women just want to be pampered like Daddy's little princesses and expect the guys to pay for everything. That turns him off greatly. Of course, the fact that Caucasian women are more sexually liberal is a boon as well.

While I see his point, I don't like to think that most of my female friends are like what he has described. I know some aren't. Some exactly fits into the abovementioned description while chasing the self-delusion of being the modern woman and being independent and all. Well, the point is obviously moot if you ask me.

There's no such thing as equality and dependence. We all need each other. Be it if you stand or sit to pee. I do not fault your choice if you choose to raise a hindleg to do your business. Like what Hugh Grant said in "About A Boy", 'If no man is an island, I'm fuckin' Ibiza... except with extensions to other islands."

So, sometimes, perhaps getting a glass of water can cause a lot less grievance.